Some caregivers ask for money before any work has been done. The request may be small and sound reasonable. It may come with a story about a car, a rent gap, or a family emergency. The request itself is the early sign to write down, check against the paper, and answer before the arrangement goes further.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
What the request looks like
- Cash handed over for groceries or supplies, with no receipt promised
- A bill to be paid to hold a shift or to keep a start date
- A loan for a repair, a fee, or a personal expense
- Pay asked for in advance for shifts not yet worked
- A request to put money into the caregiver's account or to share a bank login or card
Step 1: Write the request word for word
Write down exactly what was asked, who asked, when, and in what form. Use the caregiver's words, not your summary of them.
Request: ____________________________________________
Asked by: ____________ In person / Phone / Text / Email
Amount or item: ____________ Stated reason: ____________
Step 2: Check the written agreement
- Find the line that says who pays for groceries, supplies, and transportation.
- Find the line that says when pay is due and how it is paid.
- Find any line about advances, loans, or reimbursements.
If the agreement says nothing about the request, the request is not covered by the agreement and should not be paid until the agreement is changed in writing.
Step 3: Ask the right party in writing
If the caregiver came through an agency, ask the agency. If the caregiver was hired directly, ask the caregiver. Ask in writing by email or text so the answer is on record. Ask: Is this request part of the agreement? Who approves a payment like this? What is the process?
Step 4: Do not hand over money for the request yet
Hold any payment until the written answer arrives. Do not share a bank login, a card number, or account access to cover any request. If money has already changed hands, write down the date of the transfer, the amount, the method, and who received it, and bring that record to your bank.
Listen for and walk away
A clear answer reads like: That is not part of our arrangement, and here is how we handle supplies. Walk away if the caregiver avoids a written answer, pushes for a quick payment, asks for account access, or tells the family to pay them personally and keep it off the record.
Where each claim in this guide comes from is listed on the Sources page.