A reference call is not a request for a character description. It is a check on whether this caregiver has already handled work that resembles the work in your house.
Do not ask, “Were you happy with her?” That question usually produces a polite answer and nothing you can compare. Put one real shift on paper, ask every reference about that same work, and record the exact limits of what the reference can confirm.
Federal consumer guidance includes checking references among the steps families can take when hiring in-home help. Missouri also maintains public resources for checking certain caregiver records. Those checks answer different questions. A reference can describe observed work. A registry or background check can report records within its scope. Neither replaces the other. The public materials used for this sheet are listed on the Sources page.
1. Write the shift before you call
Use the shift you expect to hire, not a general description of “help around the house.” Write the tasks, the setting, and the parts that cannot be missed.
Person receiving help: ______________________________
Usual shift window: ______________________________
Tasks that must be completed: ______________________________
Tasks that may arise but are not guaranteed: ______________________________
Conditions inside the house, including stairs, pets, smoking, cameras, or another adult present: ______________________________
One task where timing matters: ______________________________
One task where the caregiver must follow written instructions: ______________________________
One situation that would require a call to the family: ______________________________
If you have not yet separated the job into specific tasks, use Start Here: Five Steps to Hiring before making the reference calls.
2. Confirm who the reference is
Start by finding out what the person actually observed. A former client, a client’s son, and a coworker may all know the caregiver, but they did not see the same work.
Ask:
“What was your relationship to the caregiver?”
“Were you in the house during the shifts, or did you review the work afterward?”
“About how often did you personally see the caregiver’s work?”
Write down:
Reference name: ______________________________
Relationship to caregiver: ______________________________
What the reference personally observed: ______________________________
What the reference knows only from someone else: ______________________________
Do not treat secondhand information as direct observation. Mark it as secondhand and keep going.
3. Test the reference against your proposed shift
Read your task list one item at a time. Ask whether the caregiver performed that task, not whether the reference believes the caregiver could perform it.
For each important task, ask:
“Did the caregiver do this in your home?”
“How often?”
“Was anyone else assisting?”
“What instructions did you provide?”
“Did you need to remind or correct the caregiver?”
“What part of the task did the caregiver not handle?”
Use three columns:
Task: ____________________ Observed directly: Yes / No Limits described: ____________________
Task: ____________________ Observed directly: Yes / No Limits described: ____________________
Task: ____________________ Observed directly: Yes / No Limits described: ____________________
An answer such as “She helped with meals” is incomplete. Find out whether that meant reheating prepared food, planning meals, shopping, cooking, serving, or cleaning the kitchen. Record only what the reference can describe.
4. Ask for one ordinary problem
Do not ask for the worst incident. Ask what happened when an ordinary shift did not go according to plan.
Use these questions:
“Tell me about a time the caregiver was delayed, could not complete a task, or found something different from the written instructions.”
“Who did the caregiver contact?”
“What did the caregiver do while waiting for an answer?”
“How was the issue recorded?”
“Did the same issue happen again?”
Write the sequence, not the reference’s conclusion:
What changed: ______________________________
Who was contacted: ______________________________
What the caregiver did next: ______________________________
What the family had to finish: ______________________________
This gives you something usable. “Dependable” is an opinion. “Called before the shift, reached the designated son, and waited for instructions before changing the routine” is a sequence you can compare with your own requirements.
5. Check attendance without asking for a rating
Ask for events the reference can remember or records the reference maintained.
Ask:
“How were arrival and departure recorded?”
“Who noticed if the caregiver was late or absent?”
“When the caregiver could not work, how did you learn?”
“Did the caregiver arrange a substitute, or did the family handle the gap?”
“Were there attendance problems that changed the arrangement?”
Write down the process described:
Arrival record used: ______________________________
Call-off notice went to: ______________________________
Replacement responsibility belonged to: ______________________________
Limits of the reference’s knowledge: ______________________________
6. Separate a personal reference from a work reference
A person who has never observed paid caregiving work cannot confirm performance in a client’s home. That person may confirm identity, length of acquaintance, or how to reach the applicant. Label the call correctly.
Reference type: Work / Personal / Coworker / Other
If the applicant supplied only personal references, ask for a person who directly observed work similar to your task list. If no such person is available, write that down. Do not quietly convert a personal endorsement into employment verification.
7. Verify the contact independently
Ask the applicant for the reference’s full name, role, telephone number, and connection to the work. When the reference represents a business, find the business’s public telephone number yourself and ask to be connected. When the reference is a family, ask enough about the arrangement to understand who employed or supervised the caregiver.
Applicant’s description of reference: ______________________________
Publicly listed business number checked: ______________________________
Reference’s own description of relationship: ______________________________
Descriptions match: Yes / No / Partly
A mismatch is not proof of wrongdoing. It is an item to resolve before committing.
8. Keep public checks in a separate column
Reference calls do not establish whether a screening was completed or what records were searched. Ask the agency or direct-hire candidate to identify each check by name, who requested it, and what written result can be shown. Missouri’s Family Care Safety Registry and other public hiring resources have defined purposes and limits, summarized through this site’s source list.
Check named: ______________________________
Who requested it: ______________________________
Name used for the search: ______________________________
Written result available: Yes / No
What the result does not cover: ______________________________
Do not write “background checked” as if it were one complete fact. Record the specific check and the document you were shown.
9. Stop when the call cannot support the claim
Pause the hire and resolve the gap if:
The reference cannot explain how the caregiver was connected to the household.
The reference describes tasks substantially different from the tasks you need.
The applicant’s description of the relationship conflicts with the reference’s description.
Every answer is praise, but the reference cannot describe one observed shift, task, instruction, or problem.
You are pressured to commit before you can contact the references you were given.
Write the unresolved point in one sentence: ______________________________
10. Compare the calls on one page
Do not choose by which reference sounded warmest. Compare the facts each person could confirm.
Reference A directly observed: ______________________________
Reference B directly observed: ______________________________
Required tasks confirmed by both: ______________________________
Required tasks confirmed by neither: ______________________________
Attendance process described: ______________________________
Problem response described: ______________________________
Identity or relationship mismatch to resolve: ______________________________
Public checks still to obtain: ______________________________
Your next move is not to decide whether the caregiver is “good.” Your next move is to identify which required parts of the job have evidence behind them and which parts still depend on an untested promise.