Most families who start looking for a caregiver have already had help from someone: a sister who drives on Thursdays, a neighbor who checks the porch light, a friend from church who brings dinner. That help is real. The question is whether it can carry a schedule, or whether it is a favor that will thin out the first time it gets inconvenient.

Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.

Step 1: List every informal helper by name

Write one line per person. Do not count anyone yet.

  1. Name, relationship, and the phone number you actually use for them.
  2. The task they do now, and how often they do it.
  3. The hours they have really given in the last month, not the hours they said they could give.
  4. The earliest and latest time of day they can be reached or can show up.

Step 2: Sort each name into plan or favor

A plan has a day, an hour, and a backup. A favor has none of those. Mark each name as PLAN or FAVOR. A name only counts as a plan if you can write a specific day and hour beside it and name who covers when that person cannot come.

Step 3: Ask the three questions you have been avoiding

  • If this person is sick for a week, who covers, and do you already know that person?
  • How far ahead will they tell you they cannot come, and is that early enough for you to call a backup?
  • Will they make the calls when something changes, or will they expect you to do it?

Write each answer on the line under the name. A blank line is an answer too. It tells you the favor cannot be counted on.

Step 4: Set what the hired hand covers

The hired caregiver takes the hours and tasks left after the plans are counted, not the whole job. Write the gap as a list: the days, the hours, and the tasks no plan covers. That list is the job you post. Keep medicine with the family, the doctor, and the pharmacist. A hired caregiver may give medication reminders and pick up prescriptions as an errand, and informal helpers should be held to the same line.

What to write down

For each PLAN name, write the committed day and hour, the named backup, and the time by which they must give notice. For each FAVOR name, write what you will ask them to do and what you will do if they say no. Then write the gap list in one place. That page becomes the starting point for every call you make.

For the order of steps after this, see Start Here: Five Steps to Hiring. For how this desk checks what it writes, see How We Write the Sheets.